Connecting With Others Beyond The Noise
As part of the Bear Blog Carnival this month, Juni asks "how do you stay connected while practicing digital minimalism, and how did you make the switch?"
Good question. What if I'm still working on it?!?! As much as I say I want to practice digital minimalism, I feel like I'm still far from it. I've always been curious to explore different digital platforms and usually with more than one account.
There's a lot of noise
Here's a list of social platforms I default to: Instagram (personal and "public"), Facebook, Pinterest, TikTok, LinkedIn, FB Messenger, YouTube, and WhatsApp.1
Devices: Laptop, desktop, iPhone, iPad, TV, GoPro Hero 8, Sony a6300, and Nintendo Switch.
More digital stuff: Canva, Adobe Creative Cloud, YNAB Budgeting App, Bear Blog, Peacock/HBO/Netflix/Disney Subscriptions 2, ChatGPT, Gemini, and so much more.
Intentional digital connection
- Phone calls: I still prefer phone calls, 100%. Some of my friends and family live far so phone calls are really the main way for us to connect. Since my mom's in Peru, I call/chat with her on Facebook Messenger. It works for us. I don't really like WhatsApp or using other apps to chat or text. Oh, and a non-negotiable for phone calls is NO scrolling on your phone while we're talking. That really irks my soul. We need to give our undivided attention to each other. Ok, fine, we can be doing chores and multitasking but as long as we're having a productive conversation and genuinely catching up, then I'm fine with it.
- Group chats: The most active ones are the one with my mom and my sister, My primas, the Forever 4s (me, my sister, brother-in-law, and my husband), and my mom's side of the family. We share memes, social media content, good news, little happenings from our week, and even progress on our goals. It's also where we plan and schedule outings so that the broader group is in the know. Thankfully, the consistency isn't overwhelming.
- Sharing accesible content: In our group chats, we've normalized taking social media breaks. For that reason, we try to screenshot photos or screen capture videos of reels and social media content we share so that everyone can be on the same page about what we're referencing. This is one of the best ways we reduce FOMO for those taking a break from the noise. It's a subtle sign that we respect them, not shame them.
- Entertainment content: One way that I connect with friends is through discussing tv shows, mostly reality tv after we've watched them. We'll usually watch, and then immediately text each other to give our thoughts and input on the episodes. I wish I could say the same about video games but I don't play online :(
- Location sharing: This is one that I was hesitant to include because it's not intentional per say but it requires a very close relationship to have this feature enabled. I share locations with a handful of my closest family/friends. I don't often check but when I remember that I have their location, I feel an immense honor to have their trust -- but also a great sense of responsibility. God forbid anything happens to them... I have the ability to search for them where they were last seen.
How I stay connected despite the noise...
- I put the phone down and pick up some offline hobbies. This one is one I've been practicing a lot more lately with family and friends. Fishing, board games, puzzles, playing pickleball, etc. are all fun hobbies that keep us away from our screens. I enjoy exploring new hobbies, too. It lets us connect at a deeper level. We're not only doing something fun together, but we're discovering what brings each other joy.
- I schedule time to see my friends. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances on social media. For that very reason, I never post anything personal on there. I don't want them thinking they know what I have going on if they never cared to check in. And when I see them posting something, I try to leave a comment or reach out to chat/ask more about it. The best way to connect 1-1 is to schedule frequent in-person check-in's (or even phone call dates). Sometimes these are scheduled months in advance but knowing it's coming up gives me something to look forward to.
- Now very important: Put your phone away during those check-ins. That's a given but some people don't understand the concept. One of my biggest pet peeves is staying hooked on the phone when spending time with people you don't usually see -- even when it's with people you do frequent. I default to keeping my phone in my purse or face down next to me. It's easy to get distracted but I wouldn't want them to feel disconnected because I got a ping.
- I still call and write letters. I always try to send meaningful notes to people on special occasions, especially their birthdays. I call elder relatives because it's easier to connect that way. But for the rest of my family and friends, I try to write personalized notes in a specially selected greeting card. This is my way of showing them I care and appreciate them.
- Thoughtful gifts are still a thing. Picking out gifts used to be a big challenge for me. I'm very detailed and I want to make sure people know I put in great thought in what I get them. I used to think that these gifts had to be expensive. Now that I've finally shifted my prespective, I prefer to give small gifts that are useful and practical. They still have to scream, "I thought about you!"
Now, I'm not sure I understood the concept of this month's carnival. Forgive me. But it was nice to reflect on how I connect with people on and off the screen. That's all for now.