Work is just work
I wrote a script and rehearsed it over and over. I even went through it a few times and anticipated some questions I would get as a response. Today, I finally had the conversation with my boss.
After reviewing the strategy plan I created for next year, I realized that I was overly ambitious. With already demanding needs and limited capacity, I won't be able to accomplish all of the outlined opportunities. I offered some ideas for solutions. We had a productive discussion and I could see that she was open to working it through with me.
Then, I ended the call checking in on my career progression. I know January promotions are coming soon and I wanted to check to see if I'd be considered. Or at least, by nudging her about my interest, I could let her know I'm serious. Maybe she was surprised by how direct I was but she responded the best way she could. She said she couldn't promise anything but that there's nothing additional I need to be working on to be considered. She mentioned the process for that is getting started next week but it won't be announced until mid-end of January.
It felt a bit reassuring and I'm really hoping I could be considered. I think she understood where I was coming from too since at the beginning of the call we spoke about how a significant chunk of my paycheck goes to healthcare alone. The conversation had to happen. I was feeling overwhelmed with work all week. It's even been affecting my anxiety which has been creeping up on me through physical symptoms.
My sister: If you were to text her [my late manager] right now about it, what do you think she’d say
Me: She'd say, "Don’t give two shits about this company because when the time comes, this company won’t give two shits about you. And her words, exactly"
My sister: Then there you go
Knowing me, it's understandable why this weighs so heavy on me, but I have to remind myself that at the end of the day: work is just work.