That's the thing about grief
This time last month I was at my friend's unconventional baby shower. Her baby was born months ahead. He's thankfully doing well but the baby shower was cancelled. However, we couldn't go without honoring her as a recent mom especially with the fact that her partner is deployed and her baby is still at the hospital.
Our friendship spans over ten years and we've always kept close contact. Any date we'd go on, I'd ask about her family and she would proudly, but humbly, boast about how amazing her parents are, especially her father. They were really close.
At her babyshower, her parents gave a very sweet speech about how excited they were to welcome their first grandchild into the family. Fast forward to only two weeks and two days ago from today, her father passed away unexpectedly. What a terrible loss for the community, her family, and the people who knew him.
The past few weeks, I've tried my best to comfort her however I can. I donated funds, contributed to the meal train, texted her to let her know I've been thinking of her, prayed for her and her family, and I even attended the wake. Ugh, it's all heartbreaking and even more devastating to only imagine what she could possibly be going through. But that's the thing about grief though: It's not about me.
I have a few other friends who have lost their fathers, and every year, twice a year: on their father's heavenly birthday and on Father's Day, I text these friends. Nothing crazy, just a quick note letting them know I'm thinking of them. That's all I could really do. I'm so sad that I'm adding another friend on this check-in list.