Just venting about work
I was really hoping for a promotion but I am not getting it. Not this year, at least. I kind of knew already but I was still devastated. It made me questions all the effort, time away from my family, and stress I've sacrified only to not be considered. A few days later, I found out that, at least, I got an exceeds 1. I was trying to make sense of it and wondered if I only received an excellent performance rating because they felt bad for me because of my manager's passing. I tried to reason and reminded myself of how hard I've worked the past year; otherwise I wouldn't have been as bummed out.
There were also layoffs last week. So sad. A few people I worked with in the past were impacted. What makes it even worse is that this has been happening every three months or so. It's heartbreaking. As much as I try to not to let the fear get to me, it sneaks up sometimes. I've even thought about maybe seeking another job due to the high involuntary turnover rate -- and not being considered for a promotion was beginning to encourage me to do so more. It's what I usually do when I don't feel satisfied somewhere. I look for something better. But the truth is: I'm not always going to get what I want. Now that I'm older with more responibilities, I need to build resilience and perseverance towards the roadblocks. I can't just run away. That's the easy thing to do. Layoffs are probably common everywhere with the economy we're facing right now.
And just because I'm sticking around doesn't mean I don't feel discouraged. I do. I've been procrastinating heavy and I've made space to overthink about non-work stuff. I feel especially annoyed and irked by demands related to employee engagement. How can we expect morale to be high when there's frequent layoffs with no replacements. I'm tired. We're tired.
End of rant.
Exceeds Expectations / Excellence Performance - Highest rating at my job. I've gotten it two years in a row. Woohoo!↩